


What's Done Cannot Be Undone

by orphan_account



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M, MIF Macbeth, Macbeth - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-09
Updated: 2013-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-26 03:24:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/961010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Things without all remedy</i><br/><i>Should be without regard: what's done, is done.</i> - <b>Lady Macbeth, Act 3, Scene 2</b></p><p>Alex confronts Matt about his farewell video following her ultimate performance as Lady Macbeth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's Done Cannot Be Undone

_"What's done can not be undone."_ \- **Lady Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 1**

Matt stood with the rest of the crowd as the cast bowed once more. The reception was phenomenal: every member of the audience was on their feet, cheering and chanting for more. The play itself had been flawless from cast to production, with not a single detail missed. Admittedly, he wasn't much of a Shakespeare fan himself. He'd studied one or two of the texts at school, but it had never been something that had particularly interested him in any way. His devotion lay on a much more singular, specific asset of the dramatisation itself. 

There she stood. She looked radiant, her blonde curls bouncing off of the back of her neck and her glossy lipstick soft against her lips. Matt didn't mind the fact that he could see half-way through the translucent white nightdress she wore as she took another bow. She flashed a smile in all directions, whispering thank yous under her breath to audience members on the front row and the camera men at the sides. Not for one minute did she allow her smile to fade to give her muscles a nanosecond to rest; she was eternally grateful, just as she always was. Alex was somebody who never took a day for granted, nor let it pass her by without ensuring she'd achieved something to give back to the world that had been so generous to her. 

When the crowds had parted and only a handful of people remained in the church, Matt pulled up his hood and walked outside with his head bowed to the ground. It wasn't that he didn't like meeting fans - it was, in fact, one of the perks of his job - but there was somebody he had to see today. He wanted to speak to her tonight, to tell her something he'd been hiding away for the passing months they'd failed to meet up. 

He pushed his way through the crowd towards the exit at the back of the stage. A handful of fans stood with their tickets and programmes in hand, their camera phones at the ready as they waited patiently for the cast's arrival. Kenneth was first, armed with a black Sharpie marker that made faces light up and brought smiles to the fans' faces. Matt took a step back, careful not to interfere. He snatched his sunglasses from out of his pocket and placed them behind his ears, his palm pressed to his chin as he waited. 

It was a full quarter of an hour before Alex made her way down the wooden stairs. She'd changed out of her stage costume and into a pair of pale denim jeans and a black shirt. She smiled at each of the fans, throwing her arms around one of them and ensuring every one of them walked away with a signed programme. When the gathering had broken apart in their various directions and Alex turned her back on the street and begun to make her way back inside, Matt quickened his pace until he stood just a few metres behind her. He tapped her on the shoulder, smiling as she turned around to greet him. 

"Matt?" she asked. Her voice didn't ring out in the same tone it usually did. It was stern and sharp, the same voice school teachers used when disciplining small children on school playgrounds. 

"Kingston," he smiled, stretching out his arms and leaning in towards her. 

She laughed - a stifled sort of grunt held together by sarcasm and disapproval. "Seriously?" she asked whilst shaking her head, squinting as the sun hit her eyes and obscured her vision. 

Matt's grin faded as his arms fell under the weight of shame and disappointment. His eyes widened and his brows furrowed. He hadn't the faintest idea. He hadn't expected such a cold reception. 

"You really don't know what this is all about, Matt?" Alex asked. Her curls blew in the breeze, tossing over her forehead and brushing against her lashes. 

Matt shook his head. He could feel his hands trembling in his pockets. He didn't know why he felt so nervous around her. Perhaps it was because she was twenty years his senior - a supposed mother figure and nothing more - and none of this was ever supposed to happen. The feelings. The dreams. The longing. 

Alex scoffed. "I thought you _were_ somebody, Matt. Honestly, I did. I thought you were an honest little boy. I thought you were genuine. I thought wrong." She turned her back once more, this time lifting her foot with heightened force so as to announce her exit. 

_Little boy._

"Wait," Matt called. He could sense the disappointment in her demeanour. She was angry and frustrated, but most of all, she felt as let down as he did at this present moment. "Tell me what I did wrong. I can fix it, I promise." 

Alex shook her head and sighed. 

"Please," Matt pleaded. He held one palm clutched to his chest. 

Alex bit her lower lip, but not in the unintentionally seductive way she usually did. She bit harder this time, taking out her anger on the reddened flesh until it begun to bleed out. "Your goodbye video," she said. "Don't pretend you don't know I saw it." 

Matt's heart dropped. The video. He knew what she was going to say. He'd predicted it ever since shooting had finished and it had been uploaded online for fans to see. 

"You didn't even mention me." Her voice cracked. Matt could see the tears welling up in her eyes, ready to fall against her cheeks at any given moment. She shook her head again, wiping the fallen tears away with her fingers. "And I know it sounds pathetic. I know you probably thought it was nothing, that it wouldn't matter to me at all. But it did, Matt." Her voice grew more futile, "and when I saw it, I wanted to erase every memory of you from my life. Everything. I wanted to tear up all of those birthday cards you wrote for me. I wanted to call the crew and tell them I'd never work on the show again because it would bring back too many memories. I wanted to delete your number from my address book and never hear from you again." She let out a soft wail before slowly dragging up the corners of her lips and forming a faint smile. "But I didn't, Matt. Because I wanted to convince myself that you didn't mean it." She shook her head and shot him a look of ultimate disapproval. 

Matt wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to his chest and running his fingers through her hair like a child. None of this felt wrong. Nothing felt out of place or unintentional. Everything fit together perfectly: perhaps all of those feelings and dreams would now be realised. Maybe now was the time to let her know. 

"Alex," he whispered. His voice was low and soft, barely audible. "I'm sorry." 

"Don't pretend, Matt," she said, pulling herself away. "I mean nothing to you. Admit it." 

Matt shook his head. He regretted everything: the video, deciding the leave the show, even developing such feelings for his co-star. "I couldn't bring myself to write down your name," he said. "I didn't want to believe it. Any of it." He paused, forcing back his tears. "Because I knew if I wrote down your name for the world to see, it would be almost as if I was saying goodbye to you. A final goodbye. And I don't think I want that right now." 

She looked up. Her stage makeup was smeared over her face and she'd left black smudges on his jacket. "What do you mean?" she asked. Her voice was still shaken. 

Matt cupped his face in both palms and run his fingers down it, closing his eyes and drawing in a deep breath. "I don't want us to just be co-stars, Alex," he said, "I don't think that's what we're _supposed_ to be." 

Her lips parted slowly in hesitation before she replied. "We _never_ were just co-stars, Matt. From your very first day, I knew you were something special." 

He laughed, nodding. "Oh, stop it." He smiled, their eyes fixed upon one another's as the silence grew. Yet there was still some sort of uncertainty and awkwardness about the situation that put him on edge. "Look," he interrupted, "if you don't want this - any of it - it's fine. I mean," he shook his head, "I'm probably just melodramatic. I'm probably not your type, I understand." He held his hands up in the air, his palms turned towards her. 

Alex smiled. It was Matt's gentle self-sacrifice and genuity that had attracted her to him in the first place. "No," Alex smiled, "you're definitely not my type. But then again, my type hasn't brought me the best in life." She held out her hand until he reached for it. His palms were clammy against her own, hot with anxiety and a dwindling fear. "Come," she whispered, "it's time you and I talked properly."


End file.
